Recent studies have underscored the effectiveness of coaching and counselling for ADHD and Autistic adults, particularly when incorporating approaches like Transactional Analysis (TA).
Coaching and Counselling for neurodivergent people
A 2016 qualitative study from the Netherlands explored why neurodivergent adults prefer strength-based coaching over traditional public mental health care. Participants valued the optimistic, solution-focused approach of coaching, contrasting it with the deficit-centered methods they experienced in public health settings. Coaching was perceived as a collaborative effort, leading to a deeper understanding of oneself and better preparation for future challenges.
Transactional Analysis in Therapy
Transactional Analysis (TA), developed by Eric Berne, is a versatile therapeutic approach that integrates psychoanalytic, humanist, and cognitive concepts. It focuses on analyzing interactions to promote personal growth and change.
A 2023 study examined the experiences of neurodivergent clients undergoing TA psychotherapy. The research identified key psychotherapeutic needs and potential pitfalls therapists might encounter. It also highlighted the importance of relational affirmations in therapy, suggesting that TA can be effectively adapted to support neurodivergent clients.
Integrating TA into counselling for adults neurodivergent adults offers a structured yet flexible framework. By focusing on individual interactions and promoting self-awareness, TA can help clients navigate social complexities and foster personal development.
These findings underscore the value of specialised coaching and therapeutic approaches, like TA, in addressing the unique challenges faced by neurodivergent adults.
Why Transactional Analysis Works for neurodivergent individuals
TA offers a powerful and structured approach that helps neurodivergent individuals understand themselves, communicate effectively, and navigate relationships with greater confidence. Rooted in the idea that we engage in life through three core ego states—Parent, Adult, and Child—TA provides a framework that makes interpersonal dynamics more predictable and manageable, which is especially beneficial for neurodivergent folks.
1. Clarifying Social Rules & Expectations
For many autistic individuals, unspoken social rules can feel like an unsolvable puzzle. TA demystifies these interactions by breaking them down into clear, understandable patterns. By identifying ego states in themselves and others, neurodivergent individuals can better interpret social cues and reduce the anxiety of unpredictable interactions.
For ADHDers, who often act impulsively in social situations, TA helps by slowing down the process of communication, allowing for more mindful and intentional responses instead of knee-jerk reactions.
2. Managing Emotional Regulation & Rejection Sensitivity
Neurodivergence often comes with with heightened emotional intensity, whether it’s meltdowns, shutdowns, or rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD). TA helps individuals recognize which ego state they are operating from and develop strategies to shift into a balanced “Adult” state, where emotions are acknowledged but not overwhelming.
For example, somebody struggling with criticism might instinctively react from their “Hurt Child” ego state. Through TA, they learn to engage their “Adult” state instead—responding rather than reacting, reducing distress, and improving emotional resilience.
3. Reducing Masking & People-Pleasing
Neurodivergent individuals often mask their natural behaviours to fit in, and may default to people-pleasing as a way to gain social acceptance. TA helps untangle these inauthentic social scripts and replace them with more authentic, self-affirming interactions.
By recognising their own internal scripts—such as “I must always be perfect” or “I need to make people like me”—neurodivergent individuals can rewrite their internal narratives and develop a stronger sense of self-worth that isn’t based on external validation.
4. Improving Executive Functioning & Decision-Making
Procrastination, impulsivity, and forgetfulness can be major barriers. TA offers a structured way to analyze behavior patterns and develop strategies that support better decision-making. By recognizing when they are stuck in an unhelpful “Rebellious Child” state (“I don’t want to do this!”) versus an “Adult” state (“This is difficult, but I have strategies to manage it”), individuals can regain control over their actions and improve executive functioning skills.
5. Strengthening Personal & Professional Relationships
TA is a game-changer for relationships. It helps neurodivergent individuals navigate friendships, family dynamics, and workplace interactions by offering a structured way to understand communication breakdowns.
For example, an autistic person might struggle with workplace feedback, interpreting it as a personal attack. TA helps them recognise whether their response is coming from an “Insecure Child” state and how to shift into “Adult” mode, where they can process the feedback without emotional overload.
Likewise, neurodivergent folks who tend to interrupt conversations impulsively can learn to pause, self-regulate, and engage in more reciprocal dialogues — leading to more fulfilling connections.
By applying Transactional Analysis to neurodivergent coaching or therapy, individuals gain greater self-awareness, emotional balance, and improved relationships—allowing them to navigate the world with more clarity, confidence, and authenticity.
If you are, or suspect you are, neurodivergent, and would like to book an online consultation and assessment (or in-person) and discuss support options, then we would love to hear from you.
